You are the one for me :)

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Did i Make a Mistake ??

Even though today is the 5th day ..
I still can't stop thinking about the same question over and over again ...
Till today i'm still wondering if i made a mistake by telling "him" the truth ..

I Just wanted to be honest with the one i called my boyfriend...
My mind is totally blanket right now..
I feel like crying out loud and then forget about everything..

Did i make a mistake by telling him the truth??
Why Can't he just accept my past??
If i never had told him the truth,maybe he will nv know ...
Why can't he just understand me ??
why can't he understand that the future is more important ??
Is my past really that important to him??
Why is face so important to him??
Why did i even tell him the truth in the first place??
Why must be break up because of such stupid reason??

I really dunno what else to say to him or to myself..
Everything is too late right now ...
Nothing can be done to change the outcome of what i did...
All i can do is blame myself for being foolish again and again ..
Let all these rubbish... just STOP right here...
I don't want any of this to carry on anymore...

Since you really can't accept my past ..
Since you don't wanna work your future with me..
Since you can't understand me ..
Since you doesn't love me strong enough to accept what i did ...
Since you don't want to be together anymore ...
LETS JUST STOP RIGHT HERE ...
I'M FREAKING TIRED OF WAITING FOR AN ANSWER ...
I'M FREAKING DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU ...

Monday was my first day of work at BENEFIT..
It was super fun..
Got to know lots of new friends BUT working is really very tiring...
Today ( wednesday ) is my second day of work ...
Today sales was not very good ...
The whole shopping centre was really quiet...
Not much people around...

My mood was really bad today...
I was staring into space for the first few hours of work ...
Really felt like crying but i can't ...
I just felt so helpless and disappointed with things around me...
Why do i always make mistake that will get myself hurt at the end of the day??
why do i keep letting myself get into all this shit ??
Why can't i just be like every normal girl??

BUT never mind..
Jessmin is strong ..
I have face much more difficult times in my life compare to this ...
I believe that i can stand up and carry on with my life..
Tomorrow will be a better day ...
This is only a stepping stone in my path...

Thanks alot Kazuno, Jizhong , Wan Chuan , Debbie , Irene aka Jieying and All my working colleagues who were there to cheer me up...
Thanks alot guys for being there for me this time round ...

Working is really very tiring...
I have to stand for many hours...
My legs are really painful and swollen...
I can't feel my toes anymore...

I miss my singing lessons ...
I need to sing to vent my anger...
I wanna sing and cry ...
I need to release my stress and pain ...
I need to enjoy my life abit more...

I miss all my darlings ...
Why is everyone busy with work??

Tomorrow is a brand new day..
I won't think about the past anymore ...
What is important is the future ahead of me ...

12:14 AM