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Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Sick and Tired

This is a going to be a long and boring post about my personal life,
I really need to let this out.

Once again, i quarrelled with my dad today,
this evening while he was driving me to school,
we met with a very bad jam at jurong because there is a accident
near clementi 6 avenue area.

He was screaming and yelling at me for no reason through out
the whole journey to my school.

He said: " I don't understand why you can't take a bus
from office then change and take a train to work ? "
: " why do you have to trouble me and make
me travel all the way and send you there ? "
: " You totally have no heart for the family !"
: " Because of you now i am stuck here in this stupid JAM ! "
: " The train take you all the way to your school , it is faster and i
don't need to waste my petrol ."
: " Even my friend can take the train when we have class at Tiong Bahru. "
: " you think you are really a Princess izzit ."
: " from thursday onwards i am not going to drive you anymore,
you ownself take the train and go to school yourself ."

Through out the whole journey he was yelling the same old thing
again and again non stop.

- He drives JEANETTE to EAST COAST for tuition every weekend
and drive her back from tuition again .
- If he can't drive JEANETTE he will pay for her cab fare there and back home.
- He will drive JEANETTE out to where ever she wants to go .
- He gives DARREN money to class and tuition everyday
to take cab there and back home if he can't fetch .

Seriously, i only have class on tuesday and thursday night,
i am working in your office, it is only right that you drive me
to class on your way back home. RIGHT ?

He can drive JEANETTE and DARREN in and out wherever they want.
But when ever i need a ride from him. he will surely scream at me .
Telling me if i wanna go out then i walk out myself, if i can't walk out then
don't bother to go out .

When i take taxi using my own money, he will also scream and yell,
" you have money to take taxi, no money to bring home ?
we are you parents it is only right that you give us money ! "

I agree with what he says, BUT BUT BUT ...
WHY SHOULD I GIVE THEM ANY MONEY ??

They have money to buy JEANETTE ,
-A 3K FENDI BAG FOR SCHOOL BAG
- A 1K FENDI SUNGLASS
-A 2K CHANEL NECKLACE AND EAR RING
- A EXPENSIVE WALLET
- SCHOOL MONEY $400 A WEEK
- PLUS EXTRA MONEY FOR HER WANTS

What do i get ?? I get nothing!!
I DARE SAY i get nothing from them at all .

- I PAY FOR MY OWN BILLS
- I BUY MY OWN WALLET
- I BUY MY OWN SHAMPOO AND SOAP
- I BUY MY OWN CLOTHES AND BAG
i have to work to buy everything i want.
They have not bought anything for me AT ALL for the pass few years.
EVERYTHING i want i have to work and earn my own money!!

TELL ME WHY SHOULD I GIVE THEM MONEY???

I cry myself to sleep whenever i think about my family.
People always say, family is the only person who is true to you
and loves you . BUT mine is such a different case !!

when i work for them, they scream at me non stop,
because i am slow or i don't learn things fast enough.
They will shout at me non stop infront of others in the office,
Telling people how stupid i am.
HOW SHOULD I FEEL ABOUT THAT ??

They always scream at me, asking me why can't i stay at home,
why must i always go out? Why must i always go find Kelvin, Victoria or
any of my friends!!

HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO STAY AT HOME ??
I need fresh air too!!
I hate it when i am at home, i have no stand at home!
All i can do is stay in my room or watch TV downstairs!

No one can understand why i HATE my family members so much!
No one can understand my pain inside.

NOT EVEN BF!!
Everyone thinks that i am very happy or I SHOULD BE VERY HAPPY !!
Because i am rich and i live in a big house!

BUT THE TRUTH IS I AM NOT!
I AM NOT RICH! MY PARENTS ARE !
I AM NO ONE TO THEM AT ALL !

I HAVE TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING I WANT !
I HAVE TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING I NEED !

BF keep telling me to ignore them !
Don't bother about them, don't care about them!
Don't bother to quarrel with them, don't think so much!
They are my parents don't quarrel with them!
Let them treat me the way they want to.
Don't let it bother me !!

BUT HOW AM I GOING TO DO THAT ??
I am the want living with them,
I am the one facing them everyday.
I am the one being treated like nobody.
HE JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND!!

I can't go on anymore, i really don't know what to say now !

EVEN GOING TO BF'S BOSS NEW SHOP TOMORROW,
MY BF HAVE TO ORDER FLOWERS AND PUT MY PARENT'S NAME.
THEY ARE RICH YET THEY DON'T EVEN WANT TO PAY FOR
SOMETHING THAT IS $50 .
MY BF HAVE TO COME OUT WITH THIS MONEY!

I REALLY, SERIOUSLY DO NOT KNOW WHAT KIND OF PARENTS
I HAVE.

I Hate my Family I Hate my Home !!

12:50 AM