Sunday, December 20, 2009
Feelings
I have been thinking a lot to myself recently.
Many things happen!
Lots of quarrels, misunderstanding and communication problem.
I have been thinking, am i the one with problems?
The more i think the more i feel lost with no directions.
What kind of future am i having?
When am i going to settle down?
Did i find the right guy for me?
Does this guy really love me?
How important am i to him?
What kind of future does he have in his mind?
Many many thoughts are running through my mind.
Nothing i do seems to be right!
Nothing i say seems to mean anything!
Promises are always meant to be broken!
No matter how hard i try i don't see the outcome that i want.
Am i too greedy?
Am i expecting too much ?
Is my expectation too high?
Am i too sensitive?
I always thought i could change a guy!
I always believe if the person really loves you, he will change for you.
But that kind of things never seems to happen in every guy!
I hate quarreling with "J", I'm always the 1 losing in the end.
I used to be strong,happy go lucky and full with confident and character.
(But all of this seems to disappear already ! )
I'm a very simple girl! All i want is a simple love ! All i want is a simple life!
- I want my BF to cheer me up when I'm unhappy or moody.
-I want a BF who will give in to me when we are quarreling.
" I always feel so hurt when your are harsh towards me! "
( WHY CAN'T YOU JUST UNDERSTAND THIS POINT ! )
"I feel so lost when i don't understand what you're thinking and how you feel ! "
( WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE PATIENCE WITH ME ? )
I don't understand why am i having such a weird feeling,
" we are so near yet seems so far apart ! "
I can be right beside you but i totally don't understand what you're thinking.
Whenever I'm trying to tell you something that i don't like, you'll only tell me off right in front of my face by saying : " This is my character and this is what I am ! "
( Sometimes i just don't know how to communicate anymore ! )
Why do i have to fall in love with someone who is so complicated??
He is full of character and has such high ego!
He has a very bad temper which i can't control !
He will never change his mind once he decided to do anything!
( Not even when i beg him ! )
He never fails to be harsh to me while we're quarreling!
( Even when I'm crying out badly ! )
He never fails to make me wait !
He never fails to throw me alone when we are quarreling!
( Even when i beg him not to ! )
BUT BUT BUT BUT .....
He never fails to put a smile on my face when i see him.
He always tries to please me with sweet words that will melt my heart.
He never fails to try to make me feel happy!
He is very thoughtful at times!
He never fails to remember all my doctor appointment dates!
There is so many Hates and Likes in me!
All these feelings are driving me really crazy!
I can't help but break down and cry when i can't seems to find a way out!
I don't know what to do with this relationship!
I don't find a point of speaking up because I will always end up losing in the battle.
He never listens when we are quarreling.
I'm a person who depend a lot on my partner.
I need a lot of attention from my partner.
I need a lot of constant love and care from my partner.
I need a lot of support and courage from my partner.
I just wanna spent all my time with my partner.
I need a lot of surprises from my partner.
But sometimes I really can't feel all this ..................
That is when i will start to feel very insecure and start giving you attitude.
But u just don't understand what i want and how i feel ...................
I'm so so tired! I'm physically and mentally tired!
You're always surrounded by girls and all i can do is to accept what you say!
" Come on man, we are all just friends ! "
Sometimes i just don't find a need to speak up anymore.
I start to believe that in this relationship, it is better to keep quiet and control!
Speaking up does not solve anything but will only cause more troubles and quarrels!
I Love HIM but i HATE his Attitude !
why can't everything be perfect ?
Sometimes i really rather to be loved by someone than to go loved someone!
It is really tiring and painful to love someone.
Someone who is so different from you!
I know i love him a lot but what can i do to solve all this problems between us??
sometimes i just feel like leaving everything in Singapore and just leave !
I want to just leave and never come back!!!
I can't take all these pressure and stress anymore.
I'm mentally and physically breaking down!
How can i make him understand what i want and how i feel ?
His friends are always more important than me !
Everything i do and say seems to be making him angry ......
Sometimes i can't help but think to myself ............... Am i the Right Girl for HIM ???
I Know and I'm sure I'm In LOVE with him ....
But i just can't find a way to make him understand how i feel and what i really want.
I know he is going to say :" Accept me for who i am! Take it or leave it ! I am who i am ! "
Nothing i say will change him ....
We can never have a peaceful lunch or dinner, His phone never fails to ring every 5 to 10 minutes! he is always so busy with his things !
Sometimes i just feel like throwing his phone away !
All i am asking for is for a simple man who can understand me and give me what i want.
I don't need you to buy me things or give me lots of money.
All I am asking is for you to be more thoughtful! be more caring ! Show me more LOVE !
Show me that I am important in your life! Show me you are serious about our relationship !
I just want a simple, down to earth, kind or relationship !
( Why can't you just understand what i want ?? )
No matter what happens, u know i still LOVE you for what u are !
Now i can totally understand why people always say in a relationship there is always both LOVE and HATE !
7:13 PM
